Nineteen Minutes

I recently read the book “Nineteen Minutes” by Jodi Picoult. It is the first of her books that I have read and I think she is an amazing writer. I found the book hard to put down and I was drawn into both the characters and the plot. The book focused on a school shooting. The title came from the length of time the shooting occurred for – nineteen minutes from when the shooter walked in, until he stopped. A big part of the plot centers around the shooter’s experiences in school, from preschool to high school. He was bullied.

The book really hit a nerve with me. Jack is my child I worry about, because he is sensitive and his feelings are hurt easily. Kids can be mean, and probably nothing is ever going to change that. Hopefully, most kids learn that when they are mean, they hurt other’s feelings, and they learn to be kinder. But comments that most parents dismiss, drive me crazy. Because they hurt my baby’s feelings. Sometimes a lot. Often more so than they might hurt other kid’s feelings.

The book made me wonder what makes some kids get bullied and others are left alone. There are lots of sensitive kids out there, not all of them get bullied. And why do some kids get repeatedly bullied, from their first day of school to their last. The biggest question I ponder is what do I do to make sure my kid is ok?

As parents, we all say, and to some extent think, we want our kids to be unique and individual. We want them to be true to themselves, no matter what. To stand out in a crowd. But the truth for me, and maybe more parents than I realize, is that I want my kid to be the same. I want him to fit in. I want him to blend. Because the kids that are like all the other kids, don’t get picked on. They have friends. They are the popular and cool kids.

I don’t know the answers. I don’t know how to make sure my kids have friends and don’t get bullied. I certainly hope my kids are not the ones bullying other kids. But I feel that I have more control over that side of the problem. I can teach my kids not to bully others; I can’t teach every other kid not to bully mine. So I watch like a hawk for signs that Jack is getting bullied or is not ok. And I pray that I can keep him safe and happy. And I hope that maybe his generation can figure it out, and stop the problem that seems to be getting out of control. Because in this situation, the glass-half-empty girl has to try to be optimistic.