Failure is an opportunity to do things again, only better

I currently receive three parenting magazines – Parents, Parenting, and Working Mother. I didn’t subscribe to any of them. My husband told me he ordered one from a fundraiser, but couldn’t remember which one. So if anyone reading got me a magazine subscription – thanks! I usually browse through them in the car, or when I am trying to stay awake past 9 pm. There are many things in them I find interesting, some things I find useful, but rarely anything I find to be earth-shattering or rocket science. But not too long ago, I encountered a simple, seven paragraph article that really made me think. The article was written by a dad – rare in the parenting magazines that are marketed to moms. The author referenced the book, “The Last Lecture,” by Randy Pausch, one of my all-time favorites. The book is a collection of advice and thoughts from the author, who was dying of pancreatic cancer. It is thoughtful, funny, sad, and above all, inspiring. The book inspired the writer of the article to ponder what advice he would give his own children. The one that caught my eye was, “Failure is an opportunity to do things again, only better.” For a fear-of-failure person like myself, this is good, but hard to swallow advice. Especially lately. Jack is reaching an age where some of my mistakes are becoming apparent, and requiring some undoing. He worries too much – probably a product of my constantly worrying and telling him to watch out, be careful, stay safe. I’ve gotten sucked into arguments with him too many times – he thinks he can argue all the time now. I’ve given in and spoiled him too many times – now he thinks he is entitled to treats and toys. While I know parenting is a learn-on-the-job kind of thing, I still hate making mistakes. I hate admitting them even more. But I guess I should remember I can do things better tomorrow, and next week, and with Brett (and make almost as many mistakes with him, just different ones!). I also thought about the situation with my parents the past few months. Nowhere in my life have I ever felt like I failed so much. I often think if I had gotten my mom help sooner, she never would have fallen and wouldn’t have the lasting issues she will always have to manage. If I had been tougher earlier on, she would have gotten more care, and had less issues. If I hadn’t tried to balance care for my mom and compassion for my dad, maybe situations would have been different. I’ll never know. Most days, I wish I could have a second chance at the whole thing. As hard as it is, I need to remember I have an opportunity to do things better, every day. I need to remind myself to seize the opportunity, rather than dwell on the regret. Easy to say, tough to do. So whoever sent me the subscription to whatever magazine I read that advice in – thanks. You gave me a much needed reminder that I have opportunities in front of me, and to get ‘em!