Jack Presley - Spring 2011

So I’m finally getting around to posting the kids’ pictures from way back in April. Here’s a little about Jack right now:

• Jack is a talker. There are times when I think he is never going to stop. Right now, his phrase is, “You know what?” He will preface half his statements with that. I try not to interrupt him, because the more he talks, the more I learn about his thoughts and what is important to him each day.
• Jack’s imagination is in full bloom right now. I see it in so many ways. It is fun to watch him play right now, because he has elaborate scenarios with his super hero “guys.” I will hear him having Batman talk to Joker or making the sounds for Superman to fly across the dining room. I also see his imagination in his explanations for things. He has particularly great explanations for anything body-related. He has informed me there is a little guy in his belly that runs around and that’s how he gets his energy. He also has some pretty interesting explanations for his behavior. When he didn’t eat his applesauce I packed him for lunch the other day, he told me it was because a little girl came up to him and whispered to Jack to go outside and play. He told me he just couldn’t stand it and had to go, so that was why he didn’t eat his applesauce. Because Mallory tricked him.
• Jack is naturally athletic. He started t-ball this spring and is great at it. He has excellent form when he hits the ball and when he runs. Some of this is natural talent and some is from us working on it with him. We’re not the crazy parents who are out to make our preschooler a professional athlete, it’s more that Jack has always loved sports, so we’ve played them a lot.
• Jack is still my sensitive child. He gets his feelings hurt easily. I worry that he is sometimes too eager to please people and will get run over by others. But he is a smart kid, so hopefully he will find the right balance.
• Jack is certainly exerting his independence and testing his limits right now. He wants to be in charge (of everything) and has a hard time with being told no. He is testing us as parents because we have had to work extra hard at being consistent and following through on what we say. But my philosophy is that if I can’t get my 4 (almost 5) year old to pick up his toys, I will never get him to come home at night when he is 15. We put the hard work in now by developing limits, boundaries, and expectations so that when he is older we can have less battles and enjoy those years more. (I know all of you with kids that are teenagers or older are falling out of your chairs laughing right now. Just let me live in my ignorance-induced state of bliss, ok?)

While Jack can drive me absolutely crazy with his wildness and his attitude lately, he also has this innocent, sweet side that just melts my heart. The other night Troy was working late and I had just put Brett to bed. Jack and I were having some ice cream for dessert and took it out to the living room. I sat next to him on the couch and he turned to me and said, “I like it when you sit next to me on the couch. It’s nice.” Yes, Jack, it certainly is.

Brett Casey - Spring 2011

Brett is becoming quite the character. He is slowly moving out of the baby phase and becoming a full-fledged toddler. It makes me just a little sad, but seeing the personality that is emerging brings a smile to my face.

• Brett has finally started to talk more. He is often difficult to understand, but I seem to be able to decipher his language better than anyone else. His words are sometimes not that similar to the actual word; for example, when Brett says “dadoo” what he actually means is “water.” We have jokingly called him “The Repeater” lately because he will repeat most anything you tell him. He wants to know the names of things now and will frequently ask, “What that?” I absolutely love that when you tell him what it is, he says, “Oh,” just like an adult.
• Brett is hilarious. And he knows he is funny. And he tries to be funny whenever he can. He loves to make people laugh. He will put things on his head, make funny faces, yell crazy sounds, anything to get a laugh out of people. He will certainly be the class clown, but I think he will be the type that teachers almost can’t be strict with because he is so adorable in his antics.
• One of Brett’s favorite words is “no.” He is at that stage where his immediate response to any question is “no,” then he will think about it and sometimes change his mind. Our conversation the other day: Me – “Brett, do you want some pretzels?” Brett – “NO!” Me – “Are you sure you don’t some pretzels?” Brett – “Yes, pretzels, mine.” That pattern is repeated about 50 times day.
• Brett is absolutely not a TV guy. He is the exact opposite of his brother in that regard. He is all boy though, just like his brother. Right now he loves trucks and cars. He wants to tackle me any time I sit on the floor. And he loves to play superheroes with his brother.
• I had worried that Brett was not going to like books. I actually stressed out about it when he was younger. Jack had been a book reader (well, listener) since the day he was born. I just assumed with my passion for reading and the small (ok, large) library of children’s books in my home, that all my kids would naturally be into books. When Brett was younger I could not get him to listen to more than a page or so and he would be done. He is slowly coming around. He is in a phase now where we often will read the same book two or three times before bed, rather than reading two or three different books. But he is starting to have favorites. He loves the Sandra Boynton books (just about all of them!). He loves the “How Do Dinosaurs…” books. And lately he has been picking one of Jack’s big Disney story collection books and picking a story from that. I am less worried these days.

Brett continues to capture my heart in a way I never knew was possible. He remains my Mama’s Boy and asks for me all the time. I know he won’t always be this attached to me, so I try to soak it up as much as I can. Even as he grows up, I will forever think of him as my little Monkey.

The Beginning

Today is my anniversary. Troy and I have been married for six years now. While it doesn’t sound that long, we have managed to fit a lot into those years – a baby, a house, new jobs, another baby, family tragedies. But mile marker days like today make me think back to all my favorite memories from the beginning on. Truth be told, Troy was supposed to be a rebound fling. I had just gotten out of a relationship and was, as the Lady Antebellum song goes, looking for a good time. I told Troy’s best friend Derek that Troy was not the kind of guy who got serious. But I also told my friend Terri that I got butterflies every time I saw Troy; heck, every time I thought about him. She gave me some excellent advice, “You have to go with butterflies.” Obviously I did. Troy and I had a small family wedding ceremony and then a big pig roast in the park the next day for friends and extended family. After the long two days of events, we were finally settling in at our house and realized we were starving. It was one of the hottest summers ever and I had just thrown a big t-shirt on when we got home. We pulled out some of the leftover chicken from the pig roast and sat down on the floor to eat. As I was sitting there in a t-shirt, sweaty, tired, and eating chicken with my fingers, I looked at him and said, smiling, “I bet you’re really glad you married me right now, huh?” He smiled right back at me and simply said, “Yep!” As far as birth experiences go, Jack’s was pretty easy and standard. Troy was a trouper, stayed up all night with me, did everything the nurse told him to, and was ecstatic when he looked into Jack’s tiny face that looked exactly like his. Brett’s birth was not so easy. He got stuck, they had stopped my epidural, and I was scared and in pain. I sobbed and told him he had to make them get the baby out. He had to make it stop. He was far more of a trouper; he held my hand, wiped my tears, and told me everything he could think of to try to make it better, all while it was killing him that he couldn’t fix it for me. Troy and my marriage isn’t perfect. We fight. We take each other for granted. We are selfish at times. But I’ve come to realize that very few marriages are devoid of these things; they just come out in different ways for different people. But there is no one else I would rather be imperfect with. Troy is the only person I have ever been able to truly picture my future with. Not some grand, movie scene future; but I picture us together at high school baseball games, I picture us at our kids’ weddings, I picture us in an empty nest. And at the end of every day, it just feels right to be next to him. So today makes me think of the beginning of our relationship, but it also reminds me that our journey is still in the beginning. We have so many more roads to travel, sights to see, and memories to make. What an amazing journey it is…

Soul Food

Apparently, the former non-church going, against organized religion girl is now being inspired to blog about sermons from church. I guess I need to give some credit to Pastor Jeff. A couple Sundays ago his sermon mentioned that ministering happened in more places than just church, and the importance of fellowship in the days of Jesus. He talked about some of the church activities such as the Thursday night dinners, created to provide food for those that needed it, but that fellowship was perhaps the more important thing these individuals received. He mentioned the fellowship time after the service and that it was a time to gather and connect with one another. What got me thinking was the mention of food and its importance in not just nourishing the body, but feeding the soul when shared together. I am a food girl. Five or six years ago I went to a board lunch with my dad, as his date. Afterward, he told my mom I had “quite an appetite.” My friends at work jokingly laugh with me that I am motivated by food. I admit that I am a three meals a day and snacks girl. Before I had kids (back when I actually had time) I used to love finding recipes to try. Anyone that read my blog last summer knows that I embarked on a project to research my family’s food choices and made some changes based on what I discovered. I pride myself on feeding my kids well. I have made conscience decisions to not make a big deal out of food, because research shows that creates issues later in life. I provide my kids with plenty of healthy food, only require a “no-thank-you” bite of anything at dinner, and don’t force anything, or at least not much. I realized as I listened to the sermon a couple weeks ago, that despite my front of food not being a big deal, food is a big deal to me. Food is more than just nourishment to me. I always look at how the food is presented on the plate, and try to make sure I have a variety of colors and textures. But more than the appearance is the event of eating. I try to make dinner a family time, although with a one and a four year old, this often means a constant getting this and that and cleaning up messes. But I try to ask everyone at the table how their day was. Dinner is a time to reconnect with my family after being away from them all day. Food is both how I celebrate and how I mourn. When something good happens, I tend to want to go out to eat to celebrate, or at least go out for dessert. When life hands me more than I can handle, I seek comfort in a meal with the ones I love. When I want to show appreciation, I tend to think of hosting a meal or taking someone out for one. Food is definitely tied to emotion for me. All the research and articles that say this emotional attachment to food is unhealthy, well, they just might be wrong. Maybe they don’t take emotional health into consideration. My emotional attachment to food has not led to obesity, or high cholesterol, or high blood pressure for me. Granted, some of this is the luck of genetics, but some of it is not. Maybe the nourishment of my soul, through the fellowship of a shared meal, has unmeasurable and un-researchable benefits. So long live the food girls…

Failure is an opportunity to do things again, only better

I currently receive three parenting magazines – Parents, Parenting, and Working Mother. I didn’t subscribe to any of them. My husband told me he ordered one from a fundraiser, but couldn’t remember which one. So if anyone reading got me a magazine subscription – thanks! I usually browse through them in the car, or when I am trying to stay awake past 9 pm. There are many things in them I find interesting, some things I find useful, but rarely anything I find to be earth-shattering or rocket science. But not too long ago, I encountered a simple, seven paragraph article that really made me think. The article was written by a dad – rare in the parenting magazines that are marketed to moms. The author referenced the book, “The Last Lecture,” by Randy Pausch, one of my all-time favorites. The book is a collection of advice and thoughts from the author, who was dying of pancreatic cancer. It is thoughtful, funny, sad, and above all, inspiring. The book inspired the writer of the article to ponder what advice he would give his own children. The one that caught my eye was, “Failure is an opportunity to do things again, only better.” For a fear-of-failure person like myself, this is good, but hard to swallow advice. Especially lately. Jack is reaching an age where some of my mistakes are becoming apparent, and requiring some undoing. He worries too much – probably a product of my constantly worrying and telling him to watch out, be careful, stay safe. I’ve gotten sucked into arguments with him too many times – he thinks he can argue all the time now. I’ve given in and spoiled him too many times – now he thinks he is entitled to treats and toys. While I know parenting is a learn-on-the-job kind of thing, I still hate making mistakes. I hate admitting them even more. But I guess I should remember I can do things better tomorrow, and next week, and with Brett (and make almost as many mistakes with him, just different ones!). I also thought about the situation with my parents the past few months. Nowhere in my life have I ever felt like I failed so much. I often think if I had gotten my mom help sooner, she never would have fallen and wouldn’t have the lasting issues she will always have to manage. If I had been tougher earlier on, she would have gotten more care, and had less issues. If I hadn’t tried to balance care for my mom and compassion for my dad, maybe situations would have been different. I’ll never know. Most days, I wish I could have a second chance at the whole thing. As hard as it is, I need to remember I have an opportunity to do things better, every day. I need to remind myself to seize the opportunity, rather than dwell on the regret. Easy to say, tough to do. So whoever sent me the subscription to whatever magazine I read that advice in – thanks. You gave me a much needed reminder that I have opportunities in front of me, and to get ‘em!

Mean

I am a Taylor Swift fan. Say what you want, I think the girl is darn talented, mature way beyond her years, and cute to boot! When Jack was about 2 ½, he declared that Taylor Swift was his girlfriend and he wanted to invite her over for dinner. When asked what we should serve her, he said hot dogs, macaroni and cheese, and peas. My well rounded little eater! Because Jack and I both love Taylor, we listen to her a lot. Her latest album is a good one. The other day, her latest single, Mean, struck a chord with me (pun intended!). Taylor was inspired to write the song about critics that were, well, mean to her. They wrote nasty things just to be mean. We all know these people. We’ve met them as kids in school; we’ve met them at parties; and we’ve met them at work. Specifically, most recently, I’ve met them at work. I have workplace bullies. They don’t beat me up, or take my lunch money. But they are no better than the kids in school or the critics Taylor sings about. They criticize the work I do. They use their position to get what they want, at the expense of others, or sometimes, the entire organization. They talk about people (I’m sure me) behind their backs. They are rude. They are snobby. They are, simply put, mean. I’ve spent too much time questioning my abilities and worrying about what they say. I was reminded of this fact the other day as I sang along with Taylor, loudly. (Because, I sing like a rock star in the car, by myself; unfortunately, my abilities disappear whenever someone is within earshot. Strange.) So, to my workplace bullies – you know who you are – “Some day, I’ll be, big enough so you can’t hit me. But all you’re ever gonna be is mean.”

Picture Post!

I realized I hadn't done a picture post since the fall!! So, here are the last few months with our family, just, ya know, on speed. :)

Jack is playing T-ball this spring and LOVES it! It helps that he is great at it!

My photogenic little Monkey! He's very into saying "CHEESE" right now!

When did my baby get so big???

Brett loved our little "nature walk" at Aunt D'Lynn's.

LOVE this picture!!

My funny, silly boy!

Brothers

Taking care of this baby is exhausting... :) What a smile :)

Jack's Tumble class Christmas program - what a great performer he is!!

The fam

My little Mama's boy